What Not to Do in Paris

What not to do in Paris? Seems like a simple enough question. Most travel guides you’ll read will try to convince you of all the things you need to do in Paris. The Eiffel Tower, The Lourve, The Bastille etc... All that is great, but my experience in Paris this past weekend left me with a few, some funny and some not, shall we say, suggestions of things to NOT do in Paris. 

Number 1. Don’t fly into Beauvais Airport. I was convinced RyanAir would get me the cheapest tickets, and they did, however not including the 30 euro ticket for the two hour bus ride into the city. The bus ride was longer than the flight, and for less I could’ve just flown into one of the more central airports.   

Number 2. Don’t stay out all night before your six AM flight. This may lead to an uncomfortable plane ride, and if you’re not of the college age it may leave you bed-ridden for your first day- such a waste. Of course if you are young and can handle “burning the candle at both ends”, as my mom would say, best of luck to you. Just make sure to prepare for exhaustion and drink lots of water. (*See number 6) 

Number 3. Don’t expect Spanish prices. Everything in Paris is twice as expensive as in Spain. You could go out for a coffee and end up spending your child’s college fund. Be careful. *Nice side effect- upon your return to Madrid the prices here will look great. You’ll have the urge to buy everything on the menu because it will seem so cheap. A bottle of water for under five euro!? Lets get three- why not?

Number 4. Don’t wait until the night of her tenth birthday to give your little sister that scarf you bought her for her birthday- its cold out, and she just keeps stealing your dads. (True story)

Number 5. Don’t assume people fall into the stereotype of a French person, but don’t expect them not to either. I encountered a few people who may fit nicely into the stereotype many Americans hold true of French people- rude, pompous, and arrogant. But the vast majority of people just walked right by me without so much as a word. Its the few bad apples that make the whole pie easy to classify as bad- but really you just eat around them if you will. Also, when I got back I ran into a nice French woman in the metro who was looking for directions. Her Spanish was worse than mine! It was a great feeling... But I helped her on her way and so maybe that earned me some French brownie points of some sort. Like now when I go to France I get a free pass from people’s harshness for a day. Like I said, don’t assume someones going to be rude, but don’t take it personally or be surprised when they are in fact quite rude, with their hot coffee breath just lingering in your face while you try to figure out what in the world they are yelling about (in French). 

Number 6. When you feel a little nauseous from the plane and the bus and the strong coffee, make sure to drink lots of water. That being said, make sure the water you’re throwing back like there’s no tomorrow isn’t from the tap. Turns out drinking non-potable tap water for two days straight doesn’t make you feel better- actually it makes you feel much more sick than you may have been in the first place. This I discovered the hard way. But at least it was really funny when my dad casually mentioned at dinner you can’t drink the tap water in Paris. Bing! A lightbulb went off in my head. Not much more can be said about the absurd irony of drinking bad water unknowingly because you felt sick. But I still want to know, what came first? Did I feel sick from drinking the water? Or did I drink the water because I felt sick thus becoming more sick? The world will never know... 

I’m going back to Paris in a couple weeks and you can bet I’ll be bringing some bottles of water for the trip.